Yesterday I found myself standing in front of 100+ people who attended the Keighley Day organised by the Yorkshire Photographic Union and I had to ask myself a question “why on earth would all these people come out on a cold Saturday morning to sit and listen to me witter on for a whole day?” I was confused, overwhelmed and almost paralysed with self doubt.
I may have looked like I was full of confidence, but inside I was that young girl who, after been sent to a secondary modern school (that’s another story for later), was told by the teachers to aim low because that way I wouldn’t get disappointed when I didn’t amount to anything.
I sit at home quietly on my own and produce “pretty pictures”, I am totally self taught, I didn’t go to art school, I am not technically minded, I am not very articulate, I fight to use the right words and I am dyslexic ….. not a good base to start with when standing in front of all of those people.
So standing there gazing at all of those eager faces I thought “what am I going to tell you that you don’t already know – what I do isn’t special or unique, its pretty run of the mill stuff and you don’t need much technical expertise to produce pictures like mine” – should I run away now before I make a fool of myself?
But what I lack in education and technical expertise I make up with passion and a love of what I do and I hope that everyone who attended the presentation yesterday understood where I was coming from. I love to try and inspire others who want to do something a little more creative and I also try and get over the point that those people who choose to do creative pictures are also good photographers too – we just take a slightly different path. I get a bit fed up with people saying that people who do creative images can’t take a decent photo that’s why they “mess about with them”
On the drive home I was still consumed with doubts and I lost count of how many times I thanked people for coming to the presentation adding that I hope that I hadn’t bored them to death and thanks for not slipping away at lunch time.
I only do a few talks a year (my choice) and I honestly enjoy doing them…but I still fight with that young girl inside me who is whispering in my ear that I shouldn’t be there and that I should know my place.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who attended, you were so kind to me and it was and is much appreciated.